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Writer's pictureTrish Gelbaugh

Back Seat Driving


Have you ever been a back seat driver? … Or, worse yet, have you ever tried driving with a back seat driver?

I have done both, and I wouldn’t recommend either one!

I remember when my daughter was first learning to drive; I really thought I would be that cool, calm, and collected mom … but I soon realized that I was anything but. She was a great driver, and yet I found myself slamming on the passenger brake that didn’t exist, and struggling to find words of instruction – gasping and stuttering, as I couldn’t even articulate what I wanted her to do. Without meaning to, because of my fears (whether real or imagined), I was constantly expressing a nonverbal lack of faith in her ability to drive. Over time, though, I learned to relax and trust that, even though she may not drive exactly the way I would drive, she was an excellent driver.

Over the past 6 years, I also had the opportunity to chauffeur my 80-something year old father-in-law. He was a seasoned driver with an impeccable sense of direction and a photographic memory. Despite being legally blind, he almost always knew where we were, how to get where we were going, and whether or not I had just run that yellow light. (I sometimes think he had “selective eyesight”!). In the beginning, he had a very difficult time allowing me to drive; he wanted to be in control of where we were going, when and how we would get there, and which lane I chose to drive in. Over time, though, he learned to trust my ability, and by the time he had moved to Battle Creek and I knew the area better than he did, he was able to sit back and trust that I knew what I was doing and I would get him there safely.

If you think about it, back seat driving has to do with control and whether or not you are able to surrender/relinquish control to the person driving; it is about whether or not you trust them enough to believe that their way of doing things is as good as, if not better than, your way.

I have found that my relationship with God is more like driving with a GPS. Most of the time, He allows me to be in the driver’s seat (He does give us all free will). I find that His voice is like Siri, gently guiding me through each step of the best (although perhaps not the easiest) route to take.

I remember when I first got Siri, though; hearing her voice felt unexpected, and I didn’t always understand what she was telling me to do. I wasn’t used to her timing, and I would frequently miss turns she asked me to make. The partnership between us was awkward to say the least; I hadn’t learned to follow her voice or direction, and I would repeatedly try to look down at the map while driving, always wanting to be able to look up ahead and see what was coming next. And, more often than not, I didn’t trust her directions when she would suggest a route that wasn’t the one I normally traveled, opting to turn her off and go my own way simply because it was familiar to me.

Over time, however, I learned the sound of her voice … the timing of her directions … the reliability of her route (at least most of the time!). I can typically follow her lead without having to look at a map. I find that, even when I’m going someplace I’ve been before, I will often check to see which route she recommends in case there might be a better way to go, and, more often than not, I choose to trust her directions more than my own knowledge, past experiences, or habits.

That’s how a relationship with God is; it’s a partnership. He wants to give you guidance and direction, but you have a choice to make … will you choose to follow Him or go your own way? Do you have faith that His way is better than your way?

Just like Siri, if you choose to go your own way, He will adjust His directions … “rerouting … rerouting … rerouting”. You may, eventually, arrive at your destination – but it will likely cost you in time, energy, and frustration (sometimes very dearly).

Unlike Siri, though, there may be times in your life when He will ask you to get out of the driver’s seat and let Him drive for awhile. Relax! … Trust Him! … He’s a much better driver than you … and He always knows the best way to go.



© I Lift My Voice, 2015

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