This is Part 7 of a 12-Part Series on Grief, Trauma, and Mental Health
Disclaimer: I have no training or background in the field of mental health. The thoughts expressed in this series should, in no way, be taken as professional mental health advice or a substitute for it; they are merely observations and insights that I have gleaned from reading, studying, and praying about these passages in scripture.
Job had developed a strong foundation of faith marked by a mature relationship with God prior to his losses. But he has just experienced tragedy and trauma that does not align with his beliefs about God's character or his experiences with God up until that point. As a result, he is trying desperately to wrap his brain around these discrepancies, and, in doing so, he is brutally honest with his friends, as well as refreshingly transparent with God. The following is just a summary of some of the feelings he expresses in the 39 chapters "in between":
Job acknowledges that he doesn't understand how this could be happening to him; he knows that God exists, and that God is loving and just, and yet his more recent experiences don't seem to reflect that. He grapples with the fact that the world is a very unfair place. For example, he points out that when natural disasters strike, like earthquakes, plagues, etc., God allows calamity to come to both the righteous and the wicked. (Job 9:22-24) Can a just God exist in an unjust world?
Job complains ... and feels that he has a right to complain. (Job 10:1) His friends try to accuse him of sinning because he's complaining and accusing God of being unfair, but The Truth is, he does have a right to complain and his circumstances were unfair.
Although Job has typically had a great deal of faith and a positive attitude in the past, he has tried that in his current circumstances, but it's just not working. (Job 9:27-28) I can't even tell you how much I appreciate the fact that this is recorded in scripture! While exercising our faith and thinking positively are important, both the world we live in, as well as Christian culture, will tell you to have faith and focus on the positives to the point of being in complete denial of reality and/or denying or stuffing your emotions. ... But Job, a righteous man of great character and integrity, had tried "just thinking positively" and it wasn't working!
Job questions the semantics: Even if God didn't cause it, God still allowed it. (Job 9:24) (Job 12:9-10)
There are some Christians who have a tendency to blame everything they perceive as "bad" or negative on Satan or spiritual warfare. Basically, anything they like or think is good comes from God ... and anything they don't like, don't see as "good", or isn't working when they want it to in the way or the timing that they want it to, they see as coming from Satan. But that basically means that God sees everything from their perspective; that God is basically always in agreement with them. That runs contrary to scripture ("'My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,' says the Lord. 'And My ways are far beyond anything you could imagine.'" - Isaiah 55:8).
In this particular situation, Satan may have carried it out, but it certainly wasn't a case of spiritual warfare - not only did God allow it, He was in complete control over the extent to which it could go. There are other stories in scripture where God actually causes or initiates things we might consider "bad". Ecclesiastes 7:14 states, "Enjoy prosperity while you can, but when hard times strike, realize that both come from God. Remember that nothing is certain in this life." (emphasis added by me).
In contrast to his friends, Job is acknowledging God's Sovereignty; that the Lord gives and the Lord takes away, and that it is His right to do so. Ultimately, God has the final authority; He may or may not have directly caused it, but either way, He still allowed it.
Job feels like he can't win; that nothing he does is right. (Job 10:15-17) Since Job tried his best to follow God, and yet this is what happened, he feels like God must be too difficult to please or expects too much. At times, he is in essence saying, "Are Your standards so high that no one can live up to them?". He also expresses feeling like God is "picking on him" or that God must be like a mean judge, just waiting for him to do something wrong, so that He can punish Job. (Job 14:3) (Job 7:17-19)
Job questions why God appears to be blessing other people who don't even acknowledge Him, care about Him, or follow Him, and that leads him into his next quandry: "Why bother trying?" ... "If this is what I get for following You, why not just do whatever I feel like doing?" (Job 9:29)
Job feels like God has made a fool of him, and he feels humiliated. He has very publicly expressed his belief and trust in God, and outwardly, it would appear that God has not come through for him. Other people who are not believers think his faith is foolishness, and they see him as a fool for believing all of it. (Job 12:4) (Job 16:10) (Job 19:5)
Job's friends have accused him of having sinned in some way (Job19:5). They are sticking so tightly to their religious doctrine that they are causing more hurt, pain, and trauma for Job, and Job is not at all shy about calling them out on it. "What miserable comforters you are.", he says (Job 16:2-6). ... "Even if I have sinned, that is my concern, not yours." (Job 19:4) ... and sarcastically, "You people really know everything, don't you? ... " (Job 12:2). ... "As physicians (i.e. - as spiritual adviors), you are worthless quacks ... " (Job 13:4).
Job's friends are basing everything they believe on their own experiences and on the religious wisdom and traditions that they have grown up with (Job 15:9-10)(Job 15:17-18). As a result, they are defending their doctrine and their limited understanding of God to the point of ignoring reality, and they are doing so at Job's expense. (Job 13:7-11). "Your platitudes are as valuable as ashes. Your defense (of God) is as fragile as a clay pot." - Job 13:12. Again, it is not that what his friends are saying is not true; Job even concedes, "Yes, I know all of this is true in principle..." - Job 9:2. The problem is that the conclusions that Job's friends have come to as a result of their doctrine are incorrect.
Job has really searched his soul and feels confident he hasn't done anything wrong that he needs repentance for, and he staunchly maintains that with his friends. But, privately, with God, he questions what he has done wrong to deserve what has happened to him (and the answer is nothing!).
Job also questions if God is punishing him for "the sins of his youth" (Job 13:26). And the answer is "no", God is not. While Job may have done things when he was younger that he now regrets, God seems to have kept no record of it. In fact, God is proud of Job and never describes him as anything but righteous. To me, that demonstrates that, at some level, God knows we are going to make some mistakes before our prefrontal cortex is fully developed, and He appears to make some allowances for it! I don't know about the sins of your youth, but that, to me, is Good News! In addition, it's a relief to know that, while Job may still remember those mistakes and feel guilt or shame about them, God has completely let them go! Forgiven. Done. Made New!
We get the impression that Job has worked hard and with integrity to have the prosperity he had enjoyed during the first part of his life, but as a result, his children had grown up with quite a bit of privilege, and weren't necessarily holding to the same values that Job did. As a result, Job (and his friends) question whether or not he is being punished for the sins of his children. But the answer is "no", he is not. I think many times we question if God might hold us accountable for the way those around us may behave or the things they might do (especially our spouse or our children!), but rest assured that, ultimately, you are not responsible for anyone else's choices or behavior. While we may be responsible for parenting to the best of our ability, we cannot control someone else, and our adult children will ultimately have to answer for themselves.
Finally, one of the most important feelings Job expresses - and perhaps the most painful - is the feeling that God has either been completely absent, or, at the very least, distant and silent. He prays to God and expects an answer, but he doesn't seem to get a response or receive any help. (Job 23:3) (Job 19:7). As we will soon see in Post 8, though, that is all about to change!
© I Lift My Voice, 2023
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