The "In Between"

This is Part 4 of a 12-Part Series on Grief, Trauma, and Mental Health

Disclaimer: I have no training or background in the field of mental health. The thoughts expressed in this series should, in no way, be taken as professional mental health advice or a substitute for it; they are merely observations and insights that I have gleaned from reading, studying, and praying about these passages in scripture.

There are 39 chapters in between the hurt and the healing; 39 chapters of painful suffering - physical, spiritual, and emotional suffering - and we can learn a lot about the way Job - a righteous man of integrity - handled them.

First and foremost, Job did not "stuff" his emotions or pretend to be "okay"! It's okay to not be "okay"! He openly expressed his grief, and it was no sign of weakness or a lack of faith. Christians have a tendency to take several passages from New Testament scripture out of context; being a Christian doesn't mean you won't grieve, it just means you may grieve differently because you can take comfort in knowing that there is a God and that there is a spiritual life beyond this physical life on earth. If you have experienced a loss, give yourself permission to grieve, and grieve as long as necessary.

The second thing he did was he confided, openly and honestly, in 3 close friends. Contrary to what social media may lead you to believe, no one has 1000 "friends"! The Truth is, we are fortunate if we have 3 really good ones at any given time. Beth Moore once pointed out that Jesus, while He had 12 disciples and thousands of followers, had 3 really close friends, John, Peter, and James, whom He allowed into his most private places. Life changes; who those people are at any given time in our lives will probably not be the same, and I personally believe the Holy Spirit brings them into and out of our lives at different times to serve different purposes. He may lead you to be one of those people for someone else, but that doesn't necessarily mean that they will be one of those people for you.

To the best of my knowledge, they did not have professional "counselors" at that time, but if they had, a professional counselor would have been a fantastic option - particularly if Job didn't have 3 close friends he felt he could be completely open and honest with, or if, as in Job's case, his loss and grief might be so overwhelming that it might be beyond a friend's ability to give good counsel. You may choose to seek a licensed Christian counselor who is trained to adequately address both mental and spiritual health, or you may choose to seek a secular counselor (and there are plenty of fantastic ones), as well as seeking spiritual counseling from a spiritual advisor, whether that's a pastor, small group leader, or mentor.

As I have said before, there has historically been a stigma attached to seeking mental health treatment, but I can't imagine that if Job were experiencing head to toe boils today, that he - or any Christian in their right mind - wouldn't head to a doctor or hospital to get on some antibiotics as soon as possible! So I don't see why, if Job were experiencing the same mental health symptoms today, he wouldn't seek professional help, whether that's counseling, medication, or both. Having said that, though, I do think it's very wise to pray about whether to seek professional help or not, when to seek it, which counselors or doctors might be the best fit for you, and which types of treatment might be beneficial and for how long (in the same way that you would consider all of these things if you were contemplating medical treatment). In addition, who you seek help from is important - whether it's physical, mental, or spiritual help; the wrong help, no matter how well intentioned, can do more harm than good. And, as we will see in the next several posts, the wrong spiritual help can leave you feeling even more wounded and traumatized.

The last, and most important, thing Job did was he poured out his heart to God; he held absolutely nothing back! He was brutally honest with God about how angry he was, how unfair it all seemed, and how hopeless he felt. God knows how you feel anyway, so you might as well be honest with Him! I think a major loss or trauma requires some serious time with God in as many ways as you feel comfortable; journal, pray, read scripture, attend worship, attend church, join a small group (especially one dedicated to the type of trauma or loss you have experienced, whether that's AA/Al-Anon, Celebrate Recovery, or a Grief Support Group) ... do whatever you have to do, but do not neglect your relationship with God!! Our culture has spent the past century or so really giving our attention almost exclusively to the body - our physical health. We are just now, in the past decade or two, beginning to give proper attention to the mind - our mental health. But we overwhelmingly deny or neglect that we are spirit as well, and we haven't even begun to address the need to take care of our spiritual health.

Last, I think it's important to note that this took time ... lots of time! We have no idea how much time elapsed during the book of Job, but we know his life before his losses is described as the "first part of Job's life", and the life after Job's losses is described as the "second part of Job's life". To say Job experienced a "mid-life crisis" would be an understatement! So, it's safe to say that none of these events happened overnight, despite the feeling you might come away with upon reading about them. And time requires patience ... thus we have the frequently used idiom when someone says, "they have the patience of Job".

© I Lift My Voice, 2023

Click Here to Read Part 5 in This 12-Part Series on Grief, Trauma, and Mental Health